Mary Dunn Does Blog

September 4, 2008

2008-09-04T06:52:00.006-04:00

Dear Friends,

It is with great sadness that I am writing to let you know that our beloved Mary has left her body to continue on her journey.

She died peacefully in her sleep on September 4th at home with her two daughters, Louise and Elizabeth in Westchester, New York.

The family is planning a memorial service for Saturday, September 27th at 2pm, to be held at the Iyengar Yoga Institute of New York.

In addition, we are planning a celebration of Mary Dunn's life for early 2009. We will keep you informed as those plans progress.

At Mary's request, in lieu of flowers donations to support IYAGNY and its continuing mission of teaching Iyengar yoga may be sent to:

IYAGNY
150 West 22nd Street 11 Floor
New York, New York 10011

Blog 8/30/08

2008-08-30T17:07:00.001-04:00

My outer world is shrinking as my strength goes down.
But as I look into my window sills laden with flowers and beyond into nature’s sculpture of the barks of timeless oaks, I am again in an inner world that expands and satisfies.
Nature from which we come and to which we return, holds out her arms.
I am content with this beginning and resolution.

Blog 8/18/08

2008-08-19T10:46:00.001-04:00

Before I left Memorial behind today, I had a wonderful call from Prashant Iyengar and was able to speak with him and with Guruji. Then, my daughters, a wonderful friend from California, and I made our way Elizabeth’s home in Westchester. The Bronx River Parkway broadens into a woodland ribbon of park meandering from the Bronx into Westchester. Trees, birds and little wild creatures welcomed us into the timelessness and cycles of nature.

Soon I was settled into a bright, cheery, second-story room nestled in the trees. Everything is here and thought through for my comfort and care. I spent the evening enjoying the memories and thoughts that come from rereading your cards and letters. I wish I could thank you and respond individually to what you wrote. Know that I smiled and sometimes laughed out loud learning about what is new with you and your thoughts about life --- each thought a treasure and gift to me. Know also that your unwritten prayers and ideas are reaching me and warm my heart as well.

I cherish the family time, rest, and possibilities each new day brings. I use what I have learned and keep learning from the experience yoga has opened to me about life to keep my spirits up and to be in the moment.

With love,
Mary

Blog 8/12

2008-08-12T16:27:00.002-04:00

At the beginning of the month I moved out to be with my daughter Elizabeth and her family in Scarsdale, taking advantage of the care and services offered by hospice. We twice found ourselves most comfortable coming back to Memorial for treatment to correct unforeseen complications. As of Tuesday the 12th I am still at memorial but hope to go back to Scarsdale by the end of the week, as we seem to have things under control.

Saturday night’s practice for emotional stability, at the Institute, sounded wonderful. My only regret was that I wasn’t there with you. But I dare say that I joined many who were not on site but were there in spirit.

It has been wonderful having Roger, my former husband, with me as well as my brother and sister-in-law. My daughter, Louise, will be with me for another extended stay when I leave the hospital.

The birds will still be soaring, the hydrangeas adorning and the grandchildren coming up with all sorts of new tricks to endear them to us when I return to Scarsdale.

Until then, I am uplifted by your thoughts and prayers. In the meantime I retain the hope for a miracle while I also accept the inevitability of the end that awaits us all.

With love,
Mary

Blog August 4, 2008

2008-08-04T17:07:00.000-04:00

I did get home the hospital and settled back into my apartment. I will be here for a few more days and then take some time at my daughter’s at Westchester for family visiting. My former husband, Roger, and brother and his wife are both coming to see me there as well as a wonderful friend from Colorado. In the meantime, Dean and Rebecca Lerner have been here along with my daughter Louise and her husband nursing me back to better than I have felt in weeks.

This morning the lure of the light and crispness of the air pushed me out for an early walk to Hudson River, the first walk of consequence in quite some time. In the hospital, I had a fall while escorting a very tall lean pole. The fall and hospital goings on curtailed my walking. But walking is improving and I am more secure day by day.

I can report big improvement in the nausea--eating loop too. I am attributing it to Slippery Elm powder suggested by the Learners, which so far has proved, if not miraculous, at least close.

All this improvement is certainly good for my spirits and balances out the bells and whistles I have attached to me (the devices attached to my midsection for draining etc.)

I am continuing to live day by day and enjoy the good times.

With love,
Mary

Blog 7-27-08

2008-07-27T12:43:00.001-04:00

Dear friends,

The last few weeks have been eventful. James and I went to Ann Arbor to see my mother and work on clearing the house two weeks ago, and was glad to see her and get more work done on the house that always seems to have more to give.

I was able to go to the Institute for a small celebration we had for Guru Purnima. The celebration was to show our appreciation of our Guru, Shri B.K.S. Iyengar along with the August issue of Fit Yoga which is dedicated to his genius and the genius of the Iyengar method.

Then home and a wonderful visit from Elizabeth Whalley. Soon after that I went back into Memorial Hospital to try to figure out what to do to help my situation. I am in the hospital now, hoping to come home on Tuesday.
I reflect on what a wonderful life I’ve had. How many dear friends I have. What a devoted family I have. How lucky I am to have been able to do something in my live that is meaningful to me and others.

You couldn’t ask for anything better than that … accept a little more.
Love,
Mary

Blog July 4, 2008

2008-07-04T09:15:00.001-04:00

Dear friends,

The last month has found me in an up and down situation. Each day brings wonderful things to appreciate and equal challenges.

In enjoying the highs and avoiding the troughs I am living in the moment, resting, and taking advantage of the restoration that comes from rest. I am giving up the idea that I can do everything that I have done, or all the things that present themselves and are important.

My girls have been here and James has been taking loving care of me; taking up the enormous challenge to tempt my appetite to combat the nausea I have been experiencing. Friends have continued to send delicious food and bouquets, to my great delight!

I had to give up being at Feathered Pipe Ranch as it became more and more obvious that travel to Montana was not possible for this year. My thoughts travel easily however, and I will be there in spirit this coming week.

Today I am headed to Westchester to be with Elizabeth and her family for the holiday. I am looking forward to reading stories and making them up, homemade music and fireworks.

With love,
Mary

May 23 and June 7, 2008

2008-06-07T08:27:00.000-04:00

Blog June 7, 2008

Dear friends,

I am sorry to be so out of touch but appreciate the huge support I feel from so many of you. My recovery continues to be gradual as the chemo on top of the surgery was harder on me than previous times. However, there is no doubt that I am getting better and finding my way back into my energy. Elizabeth Whalley, my college roommate and lifelong friend has been here from California this week helping and encouraging me.

Today, my daughter, Louise, and her family are here from Philadelphia and give me a chance to delight in my older set of grandchildren and catch up on their lives.

I have been to the Institute twice, once for the profound and inspiring lecture given by Faeq Biria on Svadhyaya, self-study, and also for the last session of this year’s teacher training class. Of course I am looking forward to getting to regular participation and teaching as time goes by.

My birthday was filled with well wishes, flowers, and family. James organized a time for those at the Institute to send me a montage of taped greetings topped off by a wonderful guitar solo by Lara Warren’s husband, Raphael. James is here for me always as the great and constant friend he is--keeping my spirits up, gently reminding me to rest and be patient, shopping and helping in all ways.

My doctor and I have a schedule for the upcoming treatments which will allow me to go to Feathered Pipe Ranch if I am feeling up to it. The carrot of that trip is coaxing me onward and upward and I am visualizing being on a plane after the Fourth of July as well as being in Greenwich and at the Institute before that.

Greetings, much love, and many, many thanks for all your greetings and love, outwardly and inwardly expressed.
Mary

Blog 5/23/08

Dear friends,

My first chemo after surgery went without a hitch on Wednesday. My daughter, Elizabeth, was with me. We had a good visit and I felt the protection of her care. My former husband, Roger, provided great comfort over the previous weekend of real convalescing. My daughter, Louise has been in close touch and has come from Philadelphia to be with me too.

Yesterday, I can really report that I felt more myself throughout the day, and today too. In illness, the sense of who I am seems to retreat and coalesce in a central part. Those around me reach into me to nurture and help in every practical, emotional, and spiritual way. I ask for help in so many ways and shed the independent being I am used to and let the truth and reality of our interdependence manifest.

I feel blessings said and unsaid, chanted and unsung, written and thought. Thank you all.

According to all predictions, the sun is out for upcoming days, and my treasured walks can resume with new enthusiasm. Chris Saudek is with me for the weekend, and we will enjoy things on all fronts and maybe even tackle the top of the jobs…. i.e. paperwork… that have very literally piled up. Anyway we are having fine talks, naps, walks and we even went out to dinner! As long as I pace myself, I can do a little more each day.

Much love to you all. Know that, although those around me caution me to not go too fast, my thoughts are that it will not be long before I am back at the Institute, my second home, enjoying the fruition of that dream. And I look forward to spending some time with each of my daughters, their mighty fine spouses and those four grandchildren I am crazy about.

With love,
Mary

May 18, 2008

2008-05-18T09:49:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

After getting home on Thursday, I am making progress and regaining strength. I have resumed my walks to Central Park, each outing getting easier although the pleasure factor was right up to the top of the scale from the first one! Walking alternates with quiet times and, since it no longer hurts to laugh out loud, I am doing some of that as well.

Friends are cooking for me, helping me and aiding the healing from the surgery.

Next week I will resume chemo with the intent of pushing back this eruption and finding an agent to sustain the progress we make.

Yesterday the lilt of breezes created an ever present awareness of the atmosphere. We practice watching our breath -- yesterday made me watch the breath of the earth. And the simple pleasure of sitting in the sun took me to the core of what makes possible all incredible existence.

A group chanted at the Institute, and I know prayers, meditations, and thoughts are with me from all directions. I am grateful for all this and every moment.

With love,
Mary

Blog May 12, 2008

2008-05-12T17:38:00.001-04:00

May 12th is my dad’s birthday. I have been thinking of him so much with appreciation and love. He gave me and all he touched so much in such a gentle way. Any of you who have seen a wry grin appears on my face can trace it directly to him. And he too appreciated the humor of his own vision. Any of you who have seen me identify a plant or an animal behavior should know I learned it at his knee. Any of you who have seen me not rise to the bait know that I learned emotional vegetarianism by living with him….

The spring has been gorgeous and beautifully spread out so each flowering beauty and leafing has its own time.

I am almost a week post surgery, and the week has been a hard one. The good thing about a hard time is there can be some downhill after. There is a gradual improvement of bodily functions, but it’s a bumpy, gassy, road.

The spring has been gorgeous and beautifully spread out so each flowering beauty and leafing has its own time.

I will probably go home midweek and start chemo again the following week. My doctors and all my friends are working with me towards coming to a state of poise-- holding this aggressive cancer in check so that I can do the work I love and be with the family and friends I cherish.

Love,
Mary

Blog May 8, 2008

2008-05-08T10:52:00.001-04:00

Operation over!

Recovery a little prolonged. The bowel is fixed and will be useable in a few days. No food or water for what seems like a long time. But those liquids and good nutrition will be ever so welcome when they come.

I have lots of support here and the right combination of being by myself so I can rest and some family coming by so I can hear the news.

Next Wednesday seem like a probable day for release and I feel I will be ready for it. I am already sitting up and going for laps around the floor.

Much love and thanks for all the prayers and thoughts coming from you, my wonderful friends.

Love,
Mary

Blog May 6, 2008

2008-05-06T12:57:00.001-04:00

Dear ones,

After a period of feeling on top of the world, several weeks ago I began having worrisome symptoms. I went back into treatment and then had an episode that took me back into Sloan last Thursday night with a small bowel obstruction. Conservative treatment didn’t solve the problem and I am slated for a small surgery later this afternoon. My daughters will be here with me and I am completely at peace with this decision and an in good hands.

I expect to have a quick recovery and be home and up and about soon.

I know there are lots of bumps like this in the road ahead. Thank you for staying with me on it.

With love and appreciation for the hands that reach out to me from all directions,
Mary

March 17, 2008

2008-03-17T10:55:00.001-04:00

Dear Friends,

The week in Mexico with Dean and Rebecca Learner and old and new friends was wonderful and full of wonder. On the beach for every sunrise and sunset, I enjoyed the unfolding and refolding vibrancy of the sky and sea. Trumpeting colors announced and celebrated each day and the inestimable value of being present for the present.

At least twice a day I swam and walked in the warm clear water and felt the renewal of my skin, the quietness of my mind, and the buoyancy of my body and spirit. The horizon spoke eloquently of the wholeness of the earth and the interconnectedness of us all.

I rested each day, ate nourishing food, and found joy in the reality of the practice and ideas of yoga as they permeated my skin, mind, and spirit.

Rested and strong, I returned to New York. During the past week I went through tests and received the result at week’s end that there is no active cancer at this time!

While I am aware that there are no certainties for the future, I am equally aware that there is every reason to celebrate the present. I am eager to share this celebration with all of you who have been so generous with your prayers, thoughts, and help!

For now, I am appreciating normalization and recovery with no chemo. I am taking an estrogen blocker with a good record in preventing reoccurrence.

Spring is in the air -- sporadically. But the trees and bushes are budding and the calendar is making its way into the certainty of renewal.

I am grateful beyond words and appreciate each of my friends and blessings.

All the best!
Mary

Blog January 22, 2006

2008-01-22T09:04:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

This weekend as I crisscrossed Central Park, the first snowdrops delighted my eyes. There they were, pushing aside the nurturing soil that covered them in the darkest days and popping up. neck first, snowy blossoms facing the earth.

The days are getting longer and so are mine! The healing rest after surgery has allowed me to pop up too. My lifelong friend, Elizabeth, was with me for this past long weekend and we were indeed out and about. We walked Fifth and Madison Avenues on the grey day and went to the Met for the African exhibit and the Jewish Museum for the William Steig exhibition. We pondered Pinter’s The Homecoming and Beckett’s Happy Days as part of our literary heritage. We sang lots and lots of old favorites at a sing-a-long at the JCC.

If all of this sounds like a lot, I nap in the afternoon and am being nourished by wonderful meals delivered with love by devoted friends.

And of course the news of the optimal outcome from the surgery is adding to the bounce of my step.

I am often asked if I am practicing. Of course I am and I use the lessons of yoga every hour, starting from when I opened my eyes and embraced the world in the first conscious breath after “being under.” I credit yoga with my experience of being able to ease pain and have a positive attitude pervade all my sheaths.

My daughters and their families have been wonderful as have been so many devoted friends who are communicating with me above and below the radar. I am the grateful beneficiary of your prayers, meditations and thoughts.

I have been to the Institute and will go more regularly next week to gradually resume my life there and my teaching. This week I will also start a 2-month regimen of chemotherapy. I have clearance to go on my annual trip to Isla Mujeres with Dean Learner for my beloved Feathered Pipe the first week of March so life is indeed going on positively for me.

All the Best to all of you. I know it is a cliché, but don’t forget to smell the flowers… or at least smile them…

With appreciation and love,
Mary

2008-01-06T15:46:00.000-05:00

Dear friends,

I am into my second day post surgery.

The operation went really well. The surgeon reported that it was an optimal result! So I am very pleased as you can imagine.

The first few days are a little tough, but I am making progress on all fronts.

Thank you for all your prayers, meditations and good thoughts.

More later.

With love,
Mary

2007-12-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

Dec 28, 2007

It is time of the year to be grateful and forward looking. I am both--in full measure.

The tests following my first course of treatment show steady, good progress. My doctors and I have decided that the next step will be another surgery which will happen on January 4th. I look forward to a recovery made easier because I feel strong and healthy and have good systems in place for that time.

Elizabeth Whalley has been here with me for Christmas, something she has been doing since my daughter, Louise, was two. We celebrated with both of my daughters and their families. Friends, two wonderful families with four grandchildren make for the best presence.

No snow here, but lots of holiday flurries. I had a special day with Bryan, Louise and Scot’s son aged 13, at Cirque du Soleil, followed by lunch at Michael Jordan's, embellished by the music and light show at Grand Central. Christmas eve we had a great feast and lots of fun, and then presents and glee for all, especially Matthew aged three, on Christmas morn.

Elizabeth and I got in Cyrano de Bergerac with Kevin Kline and The Bucket List too. We did the Met and the Whitney in one day and the next The New Contemporary Museum sandwiched between my two classes. Wow!

We reflect on the year at this time, and it has been a big one, with both big challenges and great joy. There was a celebration at the Institute of the Iyengar Yoga Association of New York’s coming of age. As part of the festivities, I was honored to learn that, among other things, I was “the champion of stiff people.” In the spirit of the year’s end, I want to enlarge my championing-- and will work on that in the coming year.

So many gifts from you are in my heart, so many of you have wished me well and prayed and meditated for me. So many of you have written or called and given me such smiles. The richness of this year is one of friendships and learning and connecting. I have music to listen to, poetry to read, and the warmth of your hugs and words and well wishes to take forward.

Wishing you your dreams!
Mary

2007-11-20T09:26:00.000-05:00

November 20, 2007

Thanksgiving stops us to appreciate our bounty, to lovingly prepare and sit together, to celebrate tradition and to innovate. Mine will be spent with my family and two of my four grandchildren. I look forward to making the cranberries, pies (apple with a hint of cardamom and pumpkin, traditional) and vegetables. I look forward to playing long games of train with Matthew, just turned three, holding and rocking Rebecca, six weeks, and free-wheeling conversation with all the adults around the table.

Over the past month I have continued to have a wonderful flow of friends from near and far to fill my weekends. My weeks are taken with teaching and taking care of myself. I have also gone to Ann Arbor to see my mother, brother and sister-in-law. While in Ann Arbor I saw a thrilling University of Michigan performance of La Boheme conducted by Martin Katz, a cherished family friend. Music takes us to places we cannot otherwise go.

My first phase of treatment is due to end around the beginning of the new year. The second phase as currently planned will be more widely spaced and less harsh. My hair is already sprouting in anticipation… The rhythms of my life are more normal. I am looking forward to holidays, continuing my teaching in New York, my annual Feathered Pipe week with Dean Lerner in Isla Mujeres and the promise of old and new friends, sun and sea.

I am appreciating all the generosity that has come to me, reading books you have inspired, and holding dear in my head and heart all your kind thoughts, spoken and unspoken, written and unwritten.

Wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving!
Mary

October 8 2007

2007-10-08T15:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

Last Wednesday, the 3rd October, our family welcomed Rebecca Katherine to the world! She joins Bryan, Sammi, and Matthew as part of a new generation. Rebecca is sleeping and eating well and using soul-filled eyes to check out all who hold her. She came in at 7 pounds, 5 ounces, 29 ½ inches, and lots of hair! Mother, father, big brother, relatives and friends are all celebrating the homecoming!

A part of the preciousness of new life is that it continues the threads that go back to the very beginnings of all of life- a time hard to conceptualize. The innocence of a new life brings us face to face with why we cultivate profound respect for all living beings as they have come to cover the earth and the very earth which nourishes us.

Each walk I take, practice I have, and class I teach makes it evident to me that I need to keep learning and why it is a gift to have this time in which to learn. What is under the surface comes to a reality I can see it more clearly. Being able to put it into words helps me know it better. Meditating on what I am learning helps me integrate the knowledge and accept the truths within which we all live.

The Fall for Dance festival, the summery October days, and the dance of life are all reasons to know and celebrate life’s moments.

Love and lightness to all of you,
Mary

September 24, 2007

2007-09-24T14:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

I am writing to catch you up with good news! I am feeling well and recent tests have shown numbers and results all going in the right direction!

My chemo schedule will go through the end of October when we will again evaluate treatment. Currently, I am learning more about nutrition and its many ways of supporting my fight. I continue to take courage and support from all aspects of my yoga practice. On principle and in fact I am practicing not rushing or taking on too much and making time for fun. (It can be a big help to state goals to others.)

My daughter, Elizabeth, and her husband are having their second child next week! Being part of this wonderful event and new life is at the top of my priorities.

Sweet temperatures are reminding me of summer, but fall is turning up at the tips of the leaves.

You are in my thoughts and meditation as I am so grateful to be in yours.
Mary

September 18, 2007

2007-09-18T10:07:00.000-04:00

Life has been a whirlwind. I have been to Hawley, Pennsylvania for a retreat and to enjoy the Ritz Theater, the visionary community theater started by James Murphy’s family over 30 years ago. Then I went to Philadelphia for the rich family experience of the Bar Mitzvah of my daughter and her husband’s son. AndI I just returned from a trip to North Carolina at a beautiful family wedding and afterwards went to Blowing Rock, North Carolina, where I spent time at my grandparents’ home every summer growing up. Between these trips, I had wonderful visits with friends and family from Scottsdale and Berkeley. This week my cup is full with more friends, this time from Sausalito, West Virginia, San Francisco and Boca Raton.

I am feeling well and tolerating the chemo. I am practicing yoga, walking and napping. I have gone back to teaching a few classes and teaching this wonderful subject nourishes me. I am grateful to be back in touch with this rewarding part of my life.

Your prayers are with me.
With love to all of you,
Mary

August 28, 2007

2007-08-28T08:44:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

Chris Saudek was with me for a week. We reminisced about old and good times here and in India, about our families and the friends we have made in the Iyengar community for all these years. We went for walks in Central Park and around the upper West Side and thoroughly enjoyed Spring Awakening on Broadway. Chris cooked and we appreciated and stockpiled nutritious food and ideas.

Chris entered a time of organizing and throwing with exuberance! We went into piles of papers that had grown up in the past years. What a relief to get to the bottom of some of these piles and deal with them and allow them to be gone!

The most recent chemo yielded more fatigue, to which I have responded by sleeping a few whole days. Since I often cheat the night of its rest, it seems quite a good thing to cover a few days.

Eating well and keeping my strength up are priorities. Restorative asanas take only initiative and return energy. So the many versions of Supta Baddha Konasana, Viparita Karani, Setu Bandha and, of course, pranayama, meditation and Savasana are on my menu every day.

I laugh or become quieter as I assimilate the poetry and beautifully wrought thoughts from gardening to sparkling shoes you offer. Your ideas and memories blend with mine and spark my imagination. A horse chestnut tree takes me to childhood trips to North Carolina and my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Notes from India, from an old friend in San Diego whose daughter is a cancer survivor, and from Italy bring wonderful memories of Pune, San Diego, and Rapalano with Gabriella and world flung friends. Layered memories and present prayers from our beloved Feathered Pipe Ranch make my heart sing.

So know that whether I am catching up on some extra rest and restorative yoga, spending time at the Institute, visiting my daughter and friends, seeing a movie, or taking a walk, I am taking life as it comes and embracing it.

Much love to all of you near in the close present or emerging from a rich past. Hearing pieces of your lives is a blessing of light and peace and wholeness.

Mary

August 14, 2007

2007-08-14T07:32:00.000-04:00

Another week, a week off chemo, flew by! If the response of the fast growing hair cells is evidence, the chemo is definitely working. I trust other fast growing cells, the cancer ones, are responding at the same rate! The cancer markers were definitely down at the last reading and the shedding of my hair is more evidence of things going in the right direction. I have always loved hats and find that scarves work fine. I purchased some extra hair that twice fooled my friend, Elizabeth; maybe it will fool you too.

The time in Ann Arbor was productive. My mother is less and less able to make conversation, but knows me and we know we love each other. She is in a living situation with kind people making life as stimulating and satisfying as it can be for those whose minds fail.

Clearing the things left from my parents extraordinary lifetimes is daunting, but I have been working through the memories and things with care and determination for some time. My friend Elizabeth met me in Ann Arbor and for four days helped me go through several more layers. A potluck dinner for eight wonderful friends at my home capped by singing highlighted our visit.

My friend David arrived at the end of the week to help me by driving me back to New York. We loaded his car with things to save, give to my daughters and dispose of here in New York and headed back. I love car trips. We took scenic highways that showed the true easy beauty of this land. On the way we stopped at the Chautauqua Institute, a beautiful resort area dating from the Victorian era. Eight hundred acres houses an Institute for the visual and performing arts, philosophy and religions in a Victorian town. Performance and meeting spaces punctuate the winding streets and gardens. Victorian homes welcome all comers with wrap around porches, cupolas, and fanciful gingerbread, an abundance of flowers, streaming bicycles, and good will. Winding walking roads, arching trees, and a beautiful lake brought delight at every prospect and turn.

Now I am looking forward to going to the Institute to be with my colleagues and to seeing my daughter and grandson this week...and to starting another round of Chemo this Friday. Chris Saudek will come and stay with me to visit and help.

I am thinking of all my friends at Feathered Pipe Ranch. It causes some pangs not to be there as the week which has anchored my year for so many summers. There is no place on earth I love more than its hallowed earth, hills forests, bringing unexpected sightings of enchanting wildlife. Prayers for me, for all of us, and for the earth are in the Lodge and teepees. Delight is in the air and on the wildflowered walks, ways, and byways.

I love hearing your news, poems, and observations.
And now on with the day!

With love,
Mary

Monday August 6, 2007

2007-08-06T09:50:00.000-04:00

This week flew by. I continue to feel more and more myself. I decided it was high time to spread my wings a little more today, and did a short Sirsasana before the restorative postures I embrace many times during the day. Yoga practice is educative, restorative, balancing, and in this case was wonderfully thrilling. Now do know that I know how to do, and not do and not to over-do….

I am having so much fun living through your tales of tails and wings and wiggles through the earth. My toes are tapping with the elephants and my own Sensibar can indeed do the samba….as long as I lead.

Now one Central Park tale… I can report that in a posted quiet zone, the robins were spread thickly and evenly across the lawn, listening for worms. Across the path, where there is no prohibition on festivities, birds of all sorts were in the bushes and branches-- swooping, warbling and generally having a high old time welcoming the morning. I kid you not. And I wonder if the Conservancy knows how well the signage works.

Later today I will fly to Ann Arbor to visit my mother and take care of some things in her home. I look forward to getting some necessary things done, walks and seeing at least a few of my many friends in my hometown.

When I get back to New York, I hope to go to the Institute often and use it as my haven and inspiration.

When I think of Puja in Ladekh, the many, many prayers that you are offering from all parts, and the vibrations of an organ playing Bach traveling out to me and to all of humanity, it is no wonder that I am feeling better and better.

I will be off email for a week and enjoying some of the best of the Midwest.

Hearing from so many and knowing you are there for me makes me more eager to see you all and get back in the swing. That is the direction you are pointing and I am headed.

Much love,
Mary

Saturday, July 28, 2007

2007-07-28T10:14:00.000-04:00

Dear ones,

My second chemo is behind me and in me fighting. GO CHEMO!!!!

On this round, I have not had any debilitating side effects and so continue to feel better and better, more and more myself.

An independent soul as well as a highly social animal, I love being able to take care of myself. In addition to accepting and enjoying more pampering than usual, I have the opportunity to practice the joys of tidying up, organizing, giving things away, and the contentment that comes from having less and gives space the moments of living.

What a gift to take time to reflect on the joys of being in the state of yoga--of movement and stillness, breath and body and soul. Feeling the humidity or the lightness of air, the breeze or the heat of the sun is a revelation. The ego is less and wholeness is perceivable.

I am in the state of profound gratitude of the outpouring of love that is carrying me forward and upward. I am reading poetry and listening to music, keeping company with my favorite comics…and thinking of all my friends and my wonderful family.

I love all the messages of support, inspiration and the wonderful tales of what is going on in your lives and the experiences you share.

I have a new friend, a Buddhist elephant beast with beads named SAMBA SANSIBAR sent from all my students. He is on my bed and perfectly housetrained.

Thank you all.

With gratitude and love,
Mary

Tuesday, July 24th, 07

2007-07-24T08:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

Central Park has become my haven. Just two long blocks from home, and it spreads its arms.

Recent sightings:
-A Westsider butterfly showing the way.
-A family outing that includes two grey parrots, one on each shoulder of the mother. A chat at the park café revealed that one is named Dorian and the other Doreena.
-Many running styles in the finishing loop of the Triathalon and the winners coming in to the sounds of a band and the cheers of onlookers.
-Cheers as ardent and joyful for those finishing hours later, just as much winners.
-The pride of poodles in smallest, small, medium and large from blond to black looking ooh la la, oh so French.

And more:
-Grey Gardens, a real wonder that I had wanted to see but put off, proved that I could stay up until midnight!

-Tomorrow round 2 of chemo will keep me out of crowds for recovery time in rest mode.

I have wonderful reading for my spirit, intellect, and funny bones. I have wonderful listening on podcasts and discs.

Blankets, blocks, straps, and bolsters are here so I can practice.

Smiles and tears of joy in reading your messages and poetry and being able to keep up with your lives through what you are writing on the blog and in notes. Thank you all for giving me the quiet I have needed while at the same time we are staying in touch.

More friends than even I with large imagination could have envisioned.

I am content.
Love,
Mary

Thursday......July 19th............2007

2007-07-19T08:09:00.000-04:00

Last night the strains of the Daily Show wafted out of the television...And I started smiling with anticipation of an unexpected angle Jon Stewart would choose to spin the events of the day. Probably not "the" right angle, but a right angle.

And yesterday I also got back to my bemusement of beloved New Yorker cartoons.

I went to the nutrionist in the Integrative Medicine part of Sloan and learned lots to help me make wise choices. An occassional chocolate IS in my future after the dark greens and variety of other good things to nourish and sustain me.

Had lunch out after the appointment. Good to be able to have a sequence of events.

New York was under water in the morning, complete with a sound and light show.
And the afternoon the water spouted out of a pipe near Grand Central slowing all comers to a standstill.

I am feeling better and better every day and the days are starting to feel more like my days.

Thinking of all of you. I hold you all so dear in my heart. Indeed the present is big enough to hold the past and the future

With love,
Mary

July 15th Ups and Downs

2007-07-15T18:13:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

I feel more like myself than I have since surgery and chemo.

And there are ups and downs.

My friend since we were college roommates at the University of Wisconsin, Elizabeth Whalley, arrived today from California and will be with me for the next 10 days.

We have all kinds of activities in the offing. Some of the most important are Savasana, resting and sleeping. My recovery depends on this balance.

I continue to be blessed and surrounded by kindness, support, your poetry and stories and all the messages of love.

My white cells are responding to my care and to me. My appetite and enjoyment of food is back!

With love

Mary

July 12 Out and About

2007-07-12T16:53:00.000-04:00

Dear ones,

Yesterday, I was out and about with medical appointments bookending my day.

I received education about the projected course of chemo and continue to feel I am in wonderful hands and am doing exactly the right things.

One week after the first treatment, my doctors say that the chemo is already having desired effects. Unlike some chemo that is brutal, I seem to be to be tolerating it and feel better each day.

I can go out for walks and see the sky.

The healing from the surgery is continuing each day.
With love,
Mary

A New Week

2007-07-09T11:58:00.005-04:00

Dear Friends,

I am loving being at home. One day at a time and one hour too. This quiet time is just what I need.

One of the interesting things is how time changes when it is not filled to the brim. The silence is impressive. And the spread of time from moment to moment.

I am doing what the doctors order and what I know to be healing.

Looking forward to being with you all in body as well as spirit as the time becomes right.

Love,
Mary

7/7/07 Home Sweet Home

2007-07-07T15:21:00.000-04:00

Great to be home.

All plans full steam ahead....including a wonderful visit with family and grandson, Matthew.

They say I look great, so I am going with hearsay--for now.

Wonderful to sleep in my own clean bed in my own clean space.

The apartment is cool and comfortable and so am I.

Love,
Mary

The Sixth of July == More Independence

2007-07-06T06:46:00.000-04:00

Departure Memorial planned for today!

The timing is good as I am strong enough to go home to the West side.

It will be good to get back home, and I have plans in place for the care I need.

One of the side effects of great spirits is the possibility of overdoing...one I explored yesterday. So I will be guarding my sleep, rest and quiet time to do my big job...

To all of you who are with me in this journey, know that I am reaching out to each of you in spirit and would be in a more concrete way if I could and do the work of geting well simultaneously.

The messages of hope and wisdom and healing and lightness are the treasure of this time.

With love,
Mary

The fourth of July

2007-07-04T11:11:00.000-04:00

Dear friends,

UPDATE

Second chemo a great sucess. So I am right on track. And this treatment should make me feel better, hooray, as well as make me start getting better!

Since the hospital stay ended longer than expected, I am skipping the Philadelphia hospitality and will go directly to my home on discharge in a few days.

My computer seems to respond to blogging but I cannot so far send email out, so that will have to wait. They have technology a plenty here but no nurds in evidence.

The care continues to be great, and I have a angled view of the river which might work for fireworks tonight. We will see.

Today I intend to go to the 15th floor where there is a patio because the laps around my floor, even on my MBT's, could use a little more view...

A great 4th to you all. The only time I seem to tear up is when I contemplate the love that surrounds me.

Mary

Big Guns

2007-07-02T07:47:00.000-04:00

Big day! After clearing the ins and outs required by the hospital, and getting back to normal living, I'm onto the next big thing. I am welcoming my first treatment of chemo today. Getting the big guns in to help me fight is the right thing to do for me. So I'm counting on it, and the wonderful love of my family, and the friends who become family through their actions, and all of you who are holding me in your hearts to be an invincible team. In musing on today, I find there's a curious intersection that I don't know has been noted before between science and religions in which, somehow or other, female human hair becomes a point of interest. So, in the interest of science and with a bow to religions, I'm happily releasing mine, knowing that it will grow again - perhaps curlier this time.

I know chanting is heavenly and earthly. Dispite the difficulties all New Yorkers bring up about crosstown transportation, no problems here. And there was chanting fron all directions from all areas. The quiet reflections, joy, chanting and prayers of all forms are in my consciousness.

So, onwards and upwards!

It is true what they say about hospitals!

2007-06-30T07:33:00.001-04:00

Just when i'm drifting towards a blissful nap they come in peeking and marching according to thier rank, with questions or expectations. I am the receipiant of both the porcupine and midtown tubal gridlock award. However off to saltines, toast, full spectrum juices and beyond. I will probably be here in this other worldly existance thru Tuesday best guest and then move for a week to Philadelpia to be under the kind care of daughter Loiuse and son in law doctor Scott and then back to New York.(Sometime in Scarsdale with daughter Elizabeth and family and sometimes in Manhattan)

All this blogging has been a marvilous outlet for me, but I plan now to settle into a more stately place with communications, so i will indeed check your messages, which are carrying me aloft , giving me love and laughs, but my blogging will be less frequent .... not to worry.
It is surprizing how in such a state each moment takes up it's time and the days are full. As I morph back into my healthly self I am responding. Right now I have to let go of my habit of picking up the phone and instead respond to the direction of my eyelids and eardrums drawing me inwards to a place of rest

I'm not the first to observe that all the worlds a stage and staging is our human artifice for making things make sense.

Right now we are seriously talking about having the first treatment here in the hospital before i leave.
excepted results....
less bloating and less air.... feeling better

love,
Mary

It's not true what they say about hospitals

2007-06-29T07:02:00.000-04:00

Another great uninterrupted night of sleep.
Two good walks yesterday.
One one lap.
One two laps.
Walking in Tadasana meant a whole new component and lease on life.
Blogging in Supta Baddha Konasana is the way to go.
All efforts today about peri- STALL-sis.
(The menu actually looks good)
I'm going to be here at least til Monday so I want to take advantage of the food.
The doctors are on to me and on my case!

Feeling good vibes.

GREAT UNINTERRUPTED PEACEFUL SLEEP..........SIGH

2007-06-28T07:54:00.000-04:00

Morning is bright and promising. I'm resting fairly comfortably, moving fairly uncomfortably. It seems like a fair trade.
Today the real walking and sitting up begins. Yesterday just baby steps in that direction, although I got up twice. Everything moving towards that all important renewing of peristalsis. There has to be an exit strategy before we get on to food.

Sitting UP

2007-06-27T11:57:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here with James and Louise, in some version of dandasana.

I have talked to the surgeon and am dealing with peritoneal cancer. He removed what he could and said that the rest of the metastases will respond well to chemotherapy.

After I am released from the hospital, I will do some R and R with Louise in Philadelphia.

Then back to 73rd St and on to chemo.

I love reading the cheers and cheer to the reads.

Love,
Mary

Just Out

2007-06-26T17:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

Mary has just come out of the surgery at Sloan Kettering.

Her daughters are with her and they are waiting to hear from the oncologist as to the findings and the next steps.

Will keep you posted.

PS
This picture was taken at the Yogathon June 3, 2007 where we celebrated Mary's birthday.
Her radiant smile and glowing presence leaps right out through the screen, right?

BIG DAY

2007-06-26T07:09:00.000-04:00

I had a good conference with my surgeon yesterday. We talked about the various ways the surgery could go and the facts that they had much they could do and needed me and my immune system to do the job.

I am working on that.

Sloan has a real sense of my weight and vitals... After liquids yesterday, the weight is probably down a tad.

Anyway, I feel ready for this part and in great care.

And to all of you who are holding me in your hearts, keep me there!

Love,
Mary

June 24 BLOG ONE

2007-06-24T18:32:00.000-04:00

I have started this blog to respond to the outpouring of love that has come to me in response to the news that I have cancer that has spread in my abdomen.

Tonight I am preparing for the surgery which I am welcoming as the first step in getting well.
Tomorrow pre-admission testing and I meet my surgeon, Nadeem Abu-Rustum, face to face.
I have talked to him and had a really good feeling about us being a marvelous team. And when I mention his name, I get smiles and good vibes back.

I am also reading Bernie Siegel's Love, Medicine and Miracles and learning about his experiences. I will investigate the Simingtons and their work when I have time in recovery.

Anyway, the stay at Memorial Sloan Kettering will be at least four days after the surgery on Tuesday. So far the the doctor has identified the cancer as female, but has not given more specifics or a site of origin. I will know more tomorrow, maybe, but probably not be blogging for a few days after--mostly fogging.

Now that I am on to this blogging, you can be sure I will be back with news of things getting better.

In the meantime, I feel supported and loved to an enormous degree. When my girls were growing up, we used to stretch our arms out to the last fingertip to say how much we could love each other. Now so many are doing that for me. I guess looking back, this gesture predetermined my career.