Saturday, August 30, 2008

Blog 8/30/08

My outer world is shrinking as my strength goes down.
But as I look into my window sills laden with flowers and beyond into nature’s sculpture of the barks of timeless oaks, I am again in an inner world that expands and satisfies.
Nature from which we come and to which we return, holds out her arms.
I am content with this beginning and resolution.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Blog 8/18/08

Before I left Memorial behind today, I had a wonderful call from Prashant Iyengar and was able to speak with him and with Guruji. Then, my daughters, a wonderful friend from California, and I made our way Elizabeth’s home in Westchester. The Bronx River Parkway broadens into a woodland ribbon of park meandering from the Bronx into Westchester. Trees, birds and little wild creatures welcomed us into the timelessness and cycles of nature.

Soon I was settled into a bright, cheery, second-story room nestled in the trees. Everything is here and thought through for my comfort and care. I spent the evening enjoying the memories and thoughts that come from rereading your cards and letters. I wish I could thank you and respond individually to what you wrote. Know that I smiled and sometimes laughed out loud learning about what is new with you and your thoughts about life --- each thought a treasure and gift to me. Know also that your unwritten prayers and ideas are reaching me and warm my heart as well.

I cherish the family time, rest, and possibilities each new day brings. I use what I have learned and keep learning from the experience yoga has opened to me about life to keep my spirits up and to be in the moment.

With love,

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Blog 8/12

At the beginning of the month I moved out to be with my daughter Elizabeth and her family in Scarsdale, taking advantage of the care and services offered by hospice. We twice found ourselves most comfortable coming back to Memorial for treatment to correct unforeseen complications. As of Tuesday the 12th I am still at memorial but hope to go back to Scarsdale by the end of the week, as we seem to have things under control.

Saturday night’s practice for emotional stability, at the Institute, sounded wonderful. My only regret was that I wasn’t there with you. But I dare say that I joined many who were not on site but were there in spirit.

It has been wonderful having Roger, my former husband, with me as well as my brother and sister-in-law. My daughter, Louise, will be with me for another extended stay when I leave the hospital.

The birds will still be soaring, the hydrangeas adorning and the grandchildren coming up with all sorts of new tricks to endear them to us when I return to Scarsdale.

Until then, I am uplifted by your thoughts and prayers. In the meantime I retain the hope for a miracle while I also accept the inevitability of the end that awaits us all.

With love,

Monday, August 4, 2008

Blog August 4, 2008

I did get home the hospital and settled back into my apartment. I will be here for a few more days and then take some time at my daughter’s at Westchester for family visiting. My former husband, Roger, and brother and his wife are both coming to see me there as well as a wonderful friend from Colorado. In the meantime, Dean and Rebecca Lerner have been here along with my daughter Louise and her husband nursing me back to better than I have felt in weeks.

This morning the lure of the light and crispness of the air pushed me out for an early walk to Hudson River, the first walk of consequence in quite some time. In the hospital, I had a fall while escorting a very tall lean pole. The fall and hospital goings on curtailed my walking. But walking is improving and I am more secure day by day.

I can report big improvement in the nausea--eating loop too. I am attributing it to Slippery Elm powder suggested by the Learners, which so far has proved, if not miraculous, at least close.

All this improvement is certainly good for my spirits and balances out the bells and whistles I have attached to me (the devices attached to my midsection for draining etc.)

I am continuing to live day by day and enjoy the good times.

With love,