Saturday, June 30, 2007

It is true what they say about hospitals!

Just when i'm drifting towards a blissful nap they come in peeking and marching according to thier rank, with questions or expectations. I am the receipiant of both the porcupine and midtown tubal gridlock award. However off to saltines, toast, full spectrum juices and beyond. I will probably be here in this other worldly existance thru Tuesday best guest and then move for a week to Philadelpia to be under the kind care of daughter Loiuse and son in law doctor Scott and then back to New York.(Sometime in Scarsdale with daughter Elizabeth and family and sometimes in Manhattan)

All this blogging has been a marvilous outlet for me, but I plan now to settle into a more stately place with communications, so i will indeed check your messages, which are carrying me aloft , giving me love and laughs, but my blogging will be less frequent .... not to worry.
It is surprizing how in such a state each moment takes up it's time and the days are full. As I morph back into my healthly self I am responding. Right now I have to let go of my habit of picking up the phone and instead respond to the direction of my eyelids and eardrums drawing me inwards to a place of rest

I'm not the first to observe that all the worlds a stage and staging is our human artifice for making things make sense.

Right now we are seriously talking about having the first treatment here in the hospital before i leave.
excepted results....
less bloating and less air.... feeling better



Liz said...

So pleased to hear you are in good spirits. You have been in so many, many people's thoughts and prayers and will continue to be so.
May you continue to have a good recovery with the support of your medical team, family and friends.
I look foward to seeing you back at the Institute.



Jane Dorr said...

Dear Mary,
You may be a human pin cushion now but you have given your share of pins in the past. I admire you so much, enjoyed your workshops in AA, and many times practice with your voice in my head.
Thank you for you and get well,
Jane Dorr

Judi F. said...

Mary - the beauty of your words never ceases to amaze and inspire me. Rest and fully inhabit yourself so you get well. We will be here when you are ready to reach out again. You are in my heart every moment of every day. With Love --Judi F.

Laura Cunningham said...

Dearest Mary:

Please rest and be well. You are in my heart and prayers.

Laura Cunningham

Yvonne said...

Hi Mary
Seems that your internal rhythms are coordinating and cooperating again. Thinking of you.
Be well!

francesbaker said...

Dear Mary

Karan and I were in yoga workshops with you and Dean in Mexico. It takes a brave woman (you) to haul me, talk me into a hand stand. That same braveness and perservance will carry you now. I work with many cancer challenged persons using both talk and hands on energy healing. I know that all thing are possible and that staying in the present moment makes all possible. You know that so many of us love you and respect you. Your kindness and integrity are uppermost. Let us know is there is anything Karan or I can do. Love from frances baker in Cleveland.

francesbaker said...


I neglected to say that Karan and I have asked His Holiness the Menri Trizin to offer prayers in your behalf. He is located at the Bon Tibetian Menri Monastery in Northern India. We were just there for the dedication of the library in April. frances

Carolyn Heines said...

Dear Mary,
Please add my love and all best wishes for a speedy recovery to all the thousands whose lives you have inspired over the years. The love that you taught your daughters extending beyond the fingertips has gone way beyond what can imagine.
You wisdom and humor shine forth even from your hospital bed, and your radiant spirit continues to inspire us all.
I am keeping you in the center of my heart.
With love,
Carolyn Heines

Anonymous said...

Dear Mary,
Sooooooo good to know you are recovering well and are in your usual good spirits. You are an inspiration...
Lots of love and good wishes,

Dale Simmerman said...

Another way to think of a hospital...

I used to live in
A cramped house with confusion
And pain.

BUt then I met the Friend
And started getting drunk
And singing all

Confusion and pain
Started acting nasty,
Making threats,
With talk like this,

"If you don't stop 'that'--
All that fun--

We're Leaving."

(Except in your case, as soon as you have enough energy to spend the night singing G&S, they will probably kick you out!)


Lisa said...

Hi Mary,
Good news about beginning treatment now.
I'm sure that you'll respond like a flower opening to the sun.
Have a Healing Day.
Lisa M

RayPod said...

Dear Mary,
I will be thinking of you, as I have done for the past two weeks, as I go off to Tori's 8:30 class.

I remember so well the day that I heard you say, "We are mostly space." I found that thought so comforting, freeing.

Feel comforted...and free.
With love, admiration and best thoughts
Tracy Y

Bill said...

Hi Mary,
Before you let go of your blog I wanted to write once more.
In January my mother had a L2-5 spinal fusion. Talk about bloating! She was so uncomfortable and, as you know, there isn't anything anybody can do. Her situation was complicated by a reaction to the anesthesia or pain medicine. After being in the hospital almost a week I was talking with her on the phone. She seemed odd, but I wasn't there in the room so thought she was just weary of the hospital. Then she told me to call her yoga teacher....she wanted to see her yoga teacher! So I did, and he called her.
When I went to see her the next day I she was much better (she finally went to the bathroom). They were getting ready to check her out and we were waiting and she told me what she had been thinking for the last several days. She heard someone moaning in the middle of the night and went to the doorway to ask the nurse to look after her husband who was down the hall after having had a heart attack (not). Another time she had also heard all of her kids down the hall laughing and talking. Then we got serious and quiet as we discussed plans to pull the plug (not). Then they wheeled her off for an MRI and the doctor said he was going to inject her with something that will feel warm. She thought "Oh, boy....this is it". They put her in the machine and when she came out they wheeled her down the hall. She thought, " didn't work....I'm not dead. Should I play possum or let them know?".
They released her (having gone to the bathroom, eaten and showered - the requirements of release) and we took her home. Once she was settled into a chair she started to seem much better. She started to talk about the weird stuff that was happening in the hospital and I said, " But Mom, those were hallucinations". She looked far away inside of herself and said, "Well, yes, I guess they were. They just seemed so real".
Since then she has thanked me over and over for telling her that those things didn't happen....they weren't 'real'.
Well , Mary, I don't know why I told you this story.....but maybe you will. Most of all I am encouraging you to go to the bathroom and get the heck out of the hospital!

All my best always.
Bill Mosser

alexander vreeland said...

Dear Mary,

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. You sound really positive and well. I came to take your class on the 11th of June and was saddened to miss you. I suspected that something was up but did not inquire. I was aware that your mother was needing more of your energy, so I suspected that was the reason for your absence.

Your life experiences and yoga practise have instilled a wonderful attitude toward life and I am sure that this will transcend this new set of challenges. You have been such a major inspiration in so many people's lives...a great teacher...and now you are embarked on a huge challenge as you confront health challenges and the mental chatter and questions that they provoke.

In this process, I send you so much love and energy. You will come through this learning lesson and become an even more amazing teacher.

With great respect and appreciation,


Yogarosa said...

Came accross this quote and thought of you:

Courage is to take a step forward into an area of difficulty without a solution in mind, but yet feeling that victory is ahead. It is going empty handed, but knowing that God's hand is stretched out to pull you.

Love and Light from Rosa in FL

Jay said...

Your voice returns with more strength with each blog.
Now, in medical terms, on the East Coast the event is referred to as "the Eagle has landed," while on the West Coast they use the phrase "Elvis has left the building." So, here's to more fruit juice and the receival of this enormous tsunami of healing energy being sent your way on a national level.
Light, Love, and Smiles,
Jay A.

Lauren L. said...

Dear Mary,
You are an inspiration in everything you do. I'm so glad your spirits are good and that you've provided us with this connection to you. I am thinking of you and sending you much love and healing wishes through the internet and beyond!


Lauren L.

Kathy Jo said...

Mary Dear,
Your spirit lifts my heart as I dedicate my practice to you...not to be taken lightly:
Four weeks ago my dog had a stroke in her spine and was paralyzed in the left hind leg. I dedicated my practice to her and with rapid progress (and canine rehab) she began walking. This morning she jumped up on the bed!
With all the love coming your way, you'll be jumping up behind her.
Kathy Jo

Ninap said...

Dear Mary,

I have been thinking of you and praying for your recovery. Your words are an inspiration to me.

With Love,

Nina Pileggi

eleoth said...

with al the warmth my heart can send to you,

Chris Havener said...

Aloha Mary,

I have placed a photo of you on my alter-right between Patanjali and Ganesha. The photo was taken at the beach(Sandi's beach house); you are seated in padmasana with snorkle fins on your feet and palms joined, the sparkling blue ocean behind you.

So much love being sent your way,
Chris & Tracy

carol f said...

Dear Mary, A major learning point in dealing with my husband's and my own health crisis was the need to extract ourselves from the outside world and attend to the all consuming healing process. One has to quiet all the vrittis around them. But know that if you get that 99.7 temperature on chemo and you are alone - WE WILL BE THERE WITHIN MINUTES!! It does not matter if it is at four a.m. You will need to get back to Sloan and get on antibiotics ASAP! We are not only two blocks away but we know the routine!! We are going to Chicago this monday and return on thursday evening. Knowing you is knowing love.

Leslie said...

Dear Mary,
Those who are electronically challenged, or indeed do not even own a computer, are reaching out to you as well, with love and uncompromising wishes for your recovery and excellent well-being.
Abby Gross and Pat Reichert have called me numerous times expressing their concern and their love for you. So intellegence finally tapped me on the shoulder and said,"why don't you make a couple of print-outs and send them to Pat and Abby?" And so I did.
So please know that they are about to be up to date on all your blog messages, and know that their love pours forth into you!
And I can only ditto all these posted comments.
Rest now, so we can enjoy more Sanskrit dialogue later.
Leslie Freyberg

Marc D said...

Dear Mary,
We know each other now still yet a short time, yet the first time impressed upon me right away we've indeed known each other so much longer than by calendar. A year ago Spring, I caught a voracious flu that severely dehydrated me, of course just when the worst symptom of my pump having failed became unmistakeable (at least to me, but not my pain MD, alas), and seeming breathing difficulty sent me 1st to a hell hole hospital where I was kept spiritually alive only by friends waves to my room window from the street, and a so sweet Trillin piece called Alice Off the Page, then Lenox Hill, where the healing is much as you've experienced where you are now. If you've not read the Yorker thing, I think I can, and will be so happy to get it for you. I'm so very happy that you've grown such a wondrously caring family as I've tasted here at your healing blog and at IYNY, as I know so well how that love is itself an enormous healing food. I've been saying prayers for you since I saw you weeks before the Yogathon and felt you were not then at your usual ease, and I wish for you the fastest return of that ease. Alice became one of my heros, and I have so similar a feeling of admiration for you as well.
Marc Zarowin

Carol Cavanaugh said...

Hi Mary,
Sorry life has dealt you a rough hand to play at the moment. You are frequently in my thoughts and meditations. Glad you are reading Love, Medicine and's wonderful...Bernie Siegel has a website and newsletter as well...something about Exceptional Cancer Patients. Another friend was in chemo...I got a CD from the website with affirmations for her to listen to during and after chemo...let me know if at some point it would be useful to you; I'll get you a copy. Speaking of miracles, did I tell you my husband is a cancer survivor? He was given a 5% chance to survive metatastic melanoma. That was 19 years ago. I didn't know him then of course, but I think he's alive because he has the knack of NOT WORRYING. It drives me crazy. He doesn't even worry when in my exalted judgment he SHOULD worry. He sleeps like a BABY. So...keep those positive thoughts coming! All my love is with you, Carol

Liz Owen said...

Dear Mary,

You and your family are deeply held in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this journey into healing and recovery from cancer. I am very grateful for your blog so that I can understand more and know how you are. You are such a bright light, I know the universe will always shine its healing light and energy onto you.

All love and best wishes,
Liz Owen, Boston

Jeff L. said...

Hi Mary,
From all of us here on Long Island know that you are in our hearts, our thoughts and our prayers. If "love begets courage" as stated in Light on Yoga, then you must be feeling extraordinarily brave right now!

Barbara Nicol said...

Dear Mary,

Your mention of feeling like a porcupine made me think of a cartoon in my acupuncturist's office.There is a porcupine and a bear with his nose full of needles. The bear says to the porcupine, "Thank you. I think you cured my back pain".

Today I was thinking of you while driving across the Tappan Zee bridge, when a car scooted over in front of me with the license plate "Marysol". It was so unbelievably apt I was just amazed at the universe's providence... As you probably know, in Spanish sol is sun and Mary Sun is so fitting for you because of its connection to the sun salutation and because you are so radiant. But also sol is pronounced soul and you are so soulful.

But it can also be looked at in another way. I think a brush with cancer has to bring up our fear of death. My Tibetan teachers and Amma, while supporting me as much as possible on the one hand, would on the other hand be a little harsh according to Western standards and urge me to realize I am not the body. As Amma personally
said to me when my cat was dying, "Death is like hitting the pause button in a tape recording". I think sometimes yoga has in some circles led us to be more identified with the body. But I think if we concentrate on soul, we can attain a fearlessness we would not otherwise possess. For me this is the deeper meaning of "Mary Soul".

Much, much love,

lesjmanes said...

hi mary, every morning i check the blog and see your beautiful radient face and spirit looking at me....a great way to start my day!! you are in my and blessingsxxooleslie

Jen said...

wishing you recovery and intestinal movement! May you be released to the warm care of your family and the inner strength within. You are in my thoughts daily.

ItaliANAdiNewYork said...

Dear Mary,

I am so happy you are doing better! My gardenia is blossoming like there is no tomorrow and there is always a fresh gardenia in front of Ganesh thinking of you. Continue to feel better. We are with you.


andrea hallam said...

Dear Mary
Thank you for your blog. It's so good to hear how you're doing. My thoughts are with you. Every time I practise, your face and voice appear to me! May the strength and peace you inspire in us be with you.
Be well.

barbartels said...

Dear Mary

Once in a lifetime
a person (if lucky)
has a teacher that

not simply inspires
or conveys information
but is capable of transforming

a student's experience
in the world--positively
and subtly

You have been such
a teacher for me


And my deepest heart
felt wishes for your
brilliant triumphant recovery

Barbara Bartels
Los Angeles

Jackie said...

Dear Mary,
We will be joining New York in chanting for you today. Forwarded the e-mail from IYINY everywhere, so we could do it in unison.
Jackie Austin

Robin Janis said...

Hi Mary, Jackson wanted me to tell you that he misses you and does not want you to be sick. When he saw you picture on the Iyengar website, he said:"I miss Mary. I don't want her to be sick. I want to see her."

I think of you always through out the day.

love, robin

cathy said...

Mary--I looked into the eyes of my students at the end of class and saw brightness. Your radiance continues.
Love Cathy

Cathy said...

Hi Mary,

I am a yoga student of Kim's in New Jersey. While you have never been my teacher, it is clear to me that I have a wonderful teacher in Kim because of you. I thank you for that and for your commitment to yoga. You have been in my heart, my prayers and my meditation all week. All things are possible when the heart and mind are aligned. I see you totally healed and strong.


Jeff said...

Leslie Freyberg led us all in beautiful chants today on your behalf. As you are both my teachers and our first chant was a prayer for teachers and students, I thought I would share something from "The Courage To Teach" by Parker Palmer.
Good teachers "are able to weave a complex web of connections among themselves, their subjects and their students, so that students can learn to weave a world for themselves. The connections made by good teachers are held not in their methods but in their hearts-the place where intellect and emotion and spirit and will converge in the human self."
Jeff Shaw

Kevin said...

Hi Mary,
I'm thinking of you every day and feel both personally and universally connected to the wealth of love surrounding you.
Gracie, the love dove is now full time resident of our building with the best northern exposure. We've named her Grace ,("Gracie" for short) because that is what she is full of as she sits quiet and very alert for long periods, and at least twice a day gets up does her Tadasana/ Uttanasana/ Mayurasana/ Uddiyana bhanda mix, delicately spinning around with tail feathers high up and tucks herself deep into the shaded corner of the window ledge. The other evening as I was thinking of you I peeked over the little curtain we put up to give her some privacy and our eyes met quickly and I said..." How is our Mary?" Her head bobbed a bit her beak pionting to the sky and there as if beaming straight out of the top of her head was enormous radiating Rainbow arching out over the rooftops of the Buda Hills. It was the brightest and most vibrant I've ever seen,... like a Liszt cresendo of Light over the Danube. Stunned... I said: "WOW,...let's just keep up the Wonder-ful work."
Next day, Gracie ordered Lunch and took a flight break as I replenished the pile of seeds next to her nest and there...was... well you guessed it, another little pink egg next to the first, vibrating, resting, full of flight awaiting Light.
So, Mary, Gracie says, get your good rest, drink those full spectrum juices and munch those saltines, movement is imminent, flight inevitable.
See you soon,
Kevin & Erika

Barbara Nicol said...

Dear Mary,

How are you today? Thought of you yesterday when I walked into a room in a yoga studio that was just being painted with a mural. It was a mandala...when I inquired what it was, the painter said it was a sun yantra and that the sun yantra is the king of yantras and represents leadership.

Then, a little later, I walked out of the building and just outside on the sidewalk, unbelievably, someone had dropped another heart pendant.This one was small and red.
I have never found a heart pendant before that I can remember and what is the likelihood that I find two in less than a week? The universe is sending you alot of love!!!!!


Gita MORENA said...

Dear Mary.....
My love and prayers are with you as you embark on this journey of healing. Your spirit shines with such intensity through your words. What a gift you are sharing with all of us in this way. I still delight in hearing your voice in my head from more than 30 years ago now, and give thanks for your marvelous teachings. Many Blessings on you and your family,
Gita Dorothy Morena

francesbaker said...

Dear Mary

Just a note to let you know I am thinking of you and expecting that you are really doing okay. Go slow and enjoy


frances Baker from Cleveland

marry said...

Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!

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